I’ve been thinking over the last week if I should post up a ride report for this ride as the original ride notification was put up 3 and a half years ago. The system is that if you miss a turn someone, else takes your spot. The restricting factor is always accommodation at Wye River which limits the number of spots. It seems that only death or deportation keep people away from this ride which has had a reasonably consistent crew for the last 3 rides. It also means that I have not posted a fresh ride notification for this ride in the last 3.5 years. Attendees this time around were myself, Kmatt, Cujo, Faultline, Riles, Glenn T, Ghost Rider (as a very competent proxy for Toysrus) and in rock star fashion, Scottland joined us for a cameo appearance of one day of riding and consumption of copious amounts of Wild Turkey, then drove off in a black Mercedes. The format is reasonably settled now with meet Friday night, a few beverages, ride all day Saturday, a feast Saturday night with cooking duties shared around and a gentlemen’s’ ride Sunday morning, given time and space seem to move much slower the morning after the night before. Friday night was the normal meet and greet with a few beers and wines. A quiet night as there was a promise to be on the pegs at 9am the next day. Saturday morning was the usual rush of last minute refuelling and getting ready. Ghost rider showed some ingenuity with a strip is gaffa tape on his rear guard which someone suggested they would convert it to a personalised number plate with texta advising that he was supporting marriage equality in a very physical and personal way. As promised we set off at 9am. Started with a rider briefing as, despite there being 500 years of combined riding experience with this group, there had been some prior failings of the cornerman system in the past due to rogue independent behaviour. We didn’t want to lose anyone and its literally a jungle out there. The first bit of track was a sharp decent which can be harrowing in the wet, but with the relatively dry conditions made it very ridable. I’m always nervous going down this hill because 6 month ago a walked down it and was involved in a 20 minute stand of with a very angry tiger snake which resulted in me (and family) walking back up the hill that should only ever be walked down – in other words, the snake won this battle. Fortunately, no snakes on this occasion and we all met at bottom for a recoup after crossing the Wye River. The next leg was a challenge due to several consecutive fallen trees across the track. Several times we had to thread the 8 bikes over, under, round and in and out of branches to progress. Whilst it was tiring, I thought the guys were getting delirious when I heard someone suggest (Kmatt I believe) it was a prehistoric pterodactyl which caused the mass destruction of vegetation. I thought we may have to impose a Friday night curfew on drinks, following this comment. We rode on for several more hours on some wicked tracks. Before going down one track, battling the onset of cramp, I said to Ghost Rider that I would meet the group on the exit point of a track they had just entered. I positioned myself at the exit point, camera ready to catch the guys coming down a short sharp hill and across a creek to take a profile pic worthy photo of them doing a mono through the creek at the bottom. I waited and waited and waited and waited. To my surprise Riles, Ghost Rider and KMatt appeared from the other direction. Apparently KMatt had found a different track that featured a beautiful 50m waterfall, an incident which turned Faultline’s radiator banana shaped and Scottland sprawled out on the ground waiting for someone to attach a defibrillator. One of the other boys can explain what happed on this section We eventually rode back to Wye River for the gastronomical part of the ride. Faultline had a production line going pumping out the mojitos whilst Cujo prepared his signature platter of meats, cheese, tomatoes and dips. Our entrée provider, Kmatts, was MIA as he squeezed out another hours riding. Fortunately, the entrée situation was resolved by Ghost Rider unexpectedly ripping out a cob loaf dip thingy which was very tasty. Main was weber roast lamb and roast potatoes courtesy of me complimented with coleslaw and creamed asparagus courtesy of Riles. Riles also backed up with tasty desserts of chocolate cake and delicious French apple tart. All meals were expertly match with wine, beer and wild turkey. We had music and a guest on the night. Glenn T added some oestrogen to the night by bringing his girlfriend, Mandy. It seems Glenn T is oddly the only one in the world that has never heard his girlfriend’s tribute song, “Mandy” by Barry Manilow. Mandy was a welcome guest on the night “she came, and she gave without taking”. Not sure what time the party went to, but I had had enough by midnight and went to bed. Sunday morning and things were a little slow going. I took me to start the thumbing KTM 350 and a toot the horn a couple of times before we saw some faces for the Sunday gentlemen’s ride. Glenn T and Scottland had gone home which left 6 riders. We tackled a wicked new track we discovered which criss-crosses a creek a dozen times. I had the misfortunate of given the bike too much ying and not enough yang on one exit which resulted in me sitting in the creek bed, looking at the bike which made it safely across to the other side. Thanks, Cujo for wiping away the tears and getting me going again [emoji4] It was back to the house for lunch and clean up them everyone going their separate ways. Special thanks Kmatt for leading most of the days and for scheming with me to plan the event Everyone for helping with cooking and cleaning Glenn T and Ghost Rider who were asked to bring some trail snacks with ‘x-factor’. Ghost Rider’s home cooked cherry slice, wagonwheel slice and rockyroad were a real treat. Ghost Rider giving a genuine and heart felt speech over dinner which was brave and honest. Toysrus who came down for a day to do the reconnaissance ride 2 weeks earlier. The friendship, camaraderie, laughs, BS and help which everyone gives to each other during and after the ride to make this ride a delight to be part of.